Friday, May 11, 2007
Mother's day/ a cry of anguish from two mothers
A cry of anguish from two Mothers having schizophrenic daughters
Tomorrow is world Mother’s day. Today I got a call from a mother who has not seen her daughter for the last two months though the daughter lives only one furlong from her house. She just wanted to know how her daughter is faring away from her. She just wanted to hear her voice. She just wanted to know whether her daughter is happy with the food she is getting. Is she sleeping? Is her bed linen washed and changed? I just scolded her back!
The whole purpose of this exercise is to keep her daughter away from her and remove her DEPENDENCE ON HER! The very fact that the institution has not called her back shows that they are succeeding. She must be happy with it. I told her the story of the crow and how they just prick their young ones with their beak so that they fly away once they grow big enough to be on their own and prick everytime they come back to the NEST. That is Ok with normal children said the mother, but my only daughter doesnot even know how to ask for food. She may just sleep away even if no food is given. I replied that they wake up the children and they have to eat on the table. But said the mother my daughter will only eat the omlette if cooked in a particular way. Her bread has to be deep roasted. Her water has to have ice cubes. I tried to counteract her that actually she has not loved her daughter but just made her more dependent on herself! She said may be. I asked her not to disturb the institution with her calls as asked by them. She reluctantly agreed. But the call in the night from her husband asking me to find out about the condition of their daughter surreptiously from the Jesuit father said it all. I did not succeed.
The institution is a centre run by a dedicated Jesuit priest who has given his life for the mentallyill and how to make them STAND ON THEIR OWN FEET .He follows a procedure called NLP(Neurological linguistic programming) along with love, care and discipline. I came to this city to put my only daughter(suffering from schizophrenia) in this institution. But my wife will not agree. She said she is already 63 and she wants her daughter with her till she death and eat from her hand till they can cook. My daughter though schizophrenic is clever and gets her food of taste everyday. She will make all sort of faces even if the dish had little excess sugar or salt and she will never say that she liked this food even once. We know she liked it because she will empty the dish bowl without leaving anything for us if she liked the dish or it will be full!!My wife combs her hair everyday, gives her change of clothes everyday, and I have to take her to the restaurant in case she demands it. Her sanitary pads and other saliva stains on the pillow cover she changes religiously everyday. Whenever I suggest even indirectly about institutionalization, her stock reply TILL I DIE I WANT TO SERVE MY OWN FLESH AND BLOOD”. In India we know what will happen to her after our death with no proper”GUARDIANSHIP RIGHTS” “AFFORDABLE LONG RANGE HOMES “,”RESPITE HOMES etc. I could not argue back about removing DEPENDENCE on us the parents.
The cry of anguish of these INDIAN MOTHERS of mentallyill. Will anyone hear? I heard it is International mother's day tomorrow
The mothers just look with hope at the future like the monkey above. They pray as the lady with lamp at the Mountain with RED TOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!