Sunday, October 14, 2012

Good Bye or Fare well ?

    May be a year or more that I started getting stomach pain which will last a day and then vanish when I vomited. The attack was coming once in three months or so and as advised by doctor I did ultra sound of the stomach and nothing much revealed and everything looked normal. So the doctor after physical declared may be it is a gastric trouble.But then the attack started coming once  a month or so and I have to undergo an endoscopy and the doctor found a tumor located in the Duodenum . The biopsy report revealed it to be
malignant and also the Cat scan which was also carried out.So now I am having duodenal cancer and advised a Whipple surgery  (  I was wondering whether I can withstand this major surgery at this age with my heart problem, When I went for advice the Medical oncologist detected another insignificant lump on my left throat and another needle biopsy was carried out. If this also turns positive, then I am advised chemo therapy as surgery will not work in this spreading case.I am waiting for Monday when the report will be available..The only redeeming part is my daughter who does not seem to understand the issue is happy going to various hospitals and having a cold coffee.
   Now as a carers of a single daughter who is disabled due to Mental illness both me and my wife have this nagging question."After us What  happens to our daughter?" When people fight for the rights of Mentally ill , the activists in our group jump and shout and send email to Ministers and Media etc.But when it comes to caring for homeless mentally ill and wandering, they keep silent.My daughter will not be homeless and she will be entitled to pension whatever the government gives but still who will look after her as is being done in the case of Disabled due to Mental retardation, Autism etc through the National trust act. The Rehabilitation Council of India very cleverly does not even has a training system for the social activists who will do community based rehabilitation for the disabled due to Mental illness as is being done in the case of other seven disabilities.
  For me "blogging', has been therapeutic and I was able to make friends with people whom  I have never met. To discuss, argue,exchange views with strangers who are enlightened  and it was an enriching experience. I do not know what to say.
  For me it is just a wait for "Good bye" or "Farewell" and only God can know that.Love to all those who visit this blog